R.I.P. Paul

Last week I missed many days of posting because of the very unexpected and tragic death of a close friend of ours, Paul Stoupenos. Paul and H have been best friends since about middle school, and it was a very difficult week that put all other things in our lives on hold, and in perspective. Even though I missed being home and sharing all of my baby joys with all of you, I am so eternally grateful to have a job that allowed me the entire week to be with H during this time and to take the time we needed to get through it. Before getting into new baby news, I want to share a few pictures and videos I have of Paul that I find particularly charming, and I hope you will too. The picture above, to the left, is a picture of H and Paul at our engagement party...I guess they were acting like gangstas, who knows. The picture to the side is a picture that Paul took of us at our wedding reception. He took it himself, as was his specialty, and I think it came out remarkably well. He took many other similar pictures at our wedding, always with his own face in the picture, but no image can really attest to his personality and charm as well as the following video. H took this video with our camera at the end of the reception, when Paul decided to spontaneously drop some rhymes with my brothers on stage. He loved my brothers and their music, and was constantly trying to get other people interested in them, so I love this video because he's with them on stage. And the best part: he wasn't even drunk, it was just a typical Paul moment. Here's the video:

Paul was like a brother to H, and was therefore a very close friend of mine, and although I know my grief for him can never match H's, nor that of his family, I won't ever forget him and the wonderful light and happiness he brought to everyone around him, and his family will always be in our thoughts and prayers.

Our week was pretty busy with friend and family time, but towards the end we got to have some relatively happy moments with each other, and we got some pictures of my ever-growing belly. Since we were dealing with this situation pretty much all last week, we missed my 17 week picture, so some of these will make up for that, even though they were taken in the middle of the week. Here are some belly-only pictures, most of them taken on Thursday or Friday; the first one is a front-only view of my belly, so you can't really tell much, except that my waist has expanded beyond imagination.

This next one is a side view, where my little baby bump is much more obvious.

And this final one is a sitting picture, not quite as attractive, but it really shows off my tummy, so I had to include it. And, for the record, it didn't look this way because of the pizza....

Here are just a few more pictures of H and I with all of our nieces and nephews at his sister's house...sorry I seem so spread-eagle in the one of all of us, it just was the only comfortable position for me, especially considering that Lydie was on my lap.

It was a hard week for me because I was trying to do my best to maintain energy and composure (hormonal, I mean) so that I could be there for H, but I was also struggling under the weight of a heavier-than-before-but-still-not-as-heavy-as-it-will-be belly and ridiculous exhaustion. It was also strange for me, becuase it was the first time that I had numerous congratulations and that I really felt like people were noticing that I am pregnant. Even with all that said, I was so happy to be able to be there with H, and to be for him whatever I could be, and my heart goes out to all of Paul's family and dear friends. His life was a testament to the joy of living, and I'm sure he'd be more than happy to know that soon one of his best friends, my husband, will be passing on his memory to the new life in my belly. It's hard to find reason in moments like these, but hopefully, with some time and reflection, things will be better. Maybe they'll never be the same, but at least they'll be better....and the hope that comes from this baby in my belly is just proof that they will.