M's life: the housewife chapter

This past weekend H and I went to campus to finally clean out my office from last semeseter, since God only knows when I'll be returning to school. And then Monday, I also visited the main office on campus to turn in my keys and sign off on everything, and to pick up my mail for the last time. It was such a strange sensation, and in a bizarre way, it was extremely liberating. I can remember back years ago when I first decided that I wanted to go to graduate school and finish with my Ph.D. feeling like I had to justify that to everyone. I always felt like I was surrounded by people who only cared about me one day having babies, being a mom, being a wife, and doing all of those things that are typically attributed to women in the "housewife" role. I hated that..and in a way, I still hate it today. I fought so hard to break out of that box and do something different with my life, and it was always so frustrating to me to have to explain to people why I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and how it was a good course for me. And even though I haven't yet been able to complete the doctorate, I do plan on doing it, and I do still care about that dream. It's just ironic that now, at this new and different time in my life, I feel myself reverting back to all those years ago and starting to see, in a strange way, how important this impending job is. I always imagine my life as a book in which each new season is like a new chapter, and this chapter is what I've called the housewife chapter...and surprisingly, I couldn't be happier. I never thought I would be at this point in my life, but I honestly cannot wait to be home, taking care of little H, cleaning our house, cooking for H, and making sure that all of those "domestic" things are taken care of. I feel unexpectedly and extremely PROUD to be able to be the "housewife" for H, and the Mommy for little H. It is liberating compared to the iron shackles of academia, I have to admit. It's also ironic that now, at a time in my life when I've accomplished certain things I had planned to accomplish, and when I am now about to embark on a new course that is exactly what I want in life, I am once again having to justify this course to other people, namely, those in academia. It's like my past, in reverse. Just like years ago I was having to explain why I wanted to pursue something professionally, now I feel like I am having to explain why I want to temporarily abandon my professional pursuits in favor of something that I perceive to be MUCH more important...like raising my children. It's so interesting, and I guess it just goes to show you that it really doesn't matter what other people say..and that it really shouldn't matter what they think either. I know what's right for me, and H and I know what's right and best for our family, and that is what we'll do, at any and all costs. Why? Because that is what is important. In the end, that is ALL that matters. I guess that what I've learned in this last, quickly-closing chapter of my life is that no matter what, my highest level of commitment must consistently exist at the level of my family. Beyond that, it's all secondary...and now, with that moral noted, I guess I can finally turn the page and begin this new, quickly-approaching season. Boy, I can't wait!! :)