Gut feelings? Yeah, I used to have those...

This last week or so I've really started to second guess my ability to be "in tune" with my body. So many times I've thought "this is it, this is labor"...but I was wrong each time. What ever happened to gut feelings? I always thought I had those and that I would be able to notice when things were starting to happen, but of course I haven't. I even thought that classes to teach you how to recognize labor were stupid, but now I feel myself wishing I had taken one. Maybe that's just because real labor hasn't hit yet, but I really think that maybe I've lost my sense of gut feeling. There's also some other "feelings" I've had to let go of lately. I think I've been trying so hard lately to force little H out at a specific time so that it would be convenient for everyone around me--convenient for big H as far as work is concerned, convenient for my mom so she could be here to help, convenient for my grandparents since they've been waiting so long to see him and they're on a deadline, convenient for my dad so he could get off of work to come here--but it's just not going to happen that way. As stupid as it sounds, I think I've been most stressed out about little H showing up at a time that was inconvenient for those around me. I mean, for me it doesn't matter, all I've been doing is waiting for him so whenever he comes I'll be more than ready. I've really had to work to let go of that in the past few days, especially since the doctor wanted me to wait another week, past my due date, to see if spontaneous labor ensues, and he is refusing to induce me until I'm sufficiently dilated. The bottom line is that little H will come when he's ready, in spite of everyone's schedules and so forth, and he shouldn't be forced to come any sooner than that. It is frustrating to wait, but knowing that when he comes it will be the RIGHT time is consolation enough. Maybe that is what has caused my gut feelings to sort of disappear....at each time that I had a contraction (which has been many times lately) or something else "labor-like" has happened, I've been so prepared to call everyone and say "here he comes!". Now, after all of those times, I feel like even thinking about a gut feeling is pointless...he's coming when it's his time to come. And as far as my "gut feeling" about when that might be, who the heck knows. More importantly, who the heck cares. I'm ready for him, H is ready for him, our families are ready for him, and this house is ready for him. The only thing left to do is let God send him down our way...and that happening in the safest, most natural way possible is exactly what we're praying for. So please, send yours up for the same thing.